You know how you have an impression or idea of what something is like? Well, knock me over with a feather and interfere around the general area of my derrière!
Aside from England making the World Cup semi’s with a below average side and a manager more concerned with his own buffoonery and Beau Brummell appearance, the weather here has been sunny, sunny and sunny again. What has happened to the perpetual dankness and tenebrous skies associated with the dour and downtrodden disposition of a nation that has been in decline for over 200 years?
Speaking of 200 years, at least that amount of time has elapsed since these clowns spent any money on road up-grades and maintenance. I mean the M5 makes the Appian Way look like a twenty lane autobahn. As for the West Country; nothing short of parochial pigheadedness and a downright curmudgeonly attitude toward the automobile has lead to major roads being nothing more than narrow lanes where two motorbikes have trouble passing each other without having to move aside. You don’t want to know about the secondary roads!! They are a different breed down Cornwall way and I expect electricity will be a real boon for them when it’s introduced sometime next year.
British ales versus the ultimate ambrosia known down under as VB! As you might know I’m a staunch VB fan and defender against flavour-of-the-month yuppie brews drunk by wannabe intellectuals and sophisticates; however to be fair British beer isn’t as bad as I imagined (indeed I have re-tried it a couple of times just to be certain I wasn’t getting caught up in the moment). Needs to be an ale though – seeing some worrying trends that may undermine that sacrosanct institution, being the mighty cask ale! In my mind this is what Brexit is really about – cauterising the country against the influx of Euro trash beers that seek to unsettle an already feckless heaving mass of ne’er-do-wells. C’mon British steel, stand up, pick up your bottom lip and fight back like your forebears!
Did I mention the weather? Watching the English deal with 28 degree temperatures is like watching a turtle on it’s back trying to right itself! Some of these blokes have even stooped to drinking cold lager beers (refer above) and chilled white wine – sacre bleu!
The sport of kings! It seems this is nomenclature of a literal nature; been in a few pubs (and maybe one other place) in two weeks and haven’t seen hide nor hair of a TAB or similar betting facility! I haven’t heard any locals whispering sure things to theirs mates in the said pubs and the racing channel is either a blank screen or non-existent – what does this effete civilisation do on a Saturday afternoon? Looks like I will need to replace the flat cap with a bowler and approach the palace seeking succour to my dilemma.
Of the palace, or more accurately castle (there are apparently a few here); approached the beefeater at one gate but as soon as I said “old woman” he told me to naff off! Until England win the World Cup it seems like they’ve also lost their sense of humour.
Now the boring bit, so, succinct! Having an absolute ball over here, great scenery and history! Have until Sunday to locate Sam and Cal…
